he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
