I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
3 2 1 whiskey
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
