God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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