he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
