she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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