is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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