You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
