love makes seman taste better
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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