So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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