Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
