Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
