i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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