Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
