Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
