His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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