I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
