you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
