And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
