he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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