dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Randomize
