He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize