Whod you bang
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
