Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
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Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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