is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
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just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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