words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
