you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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