Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
