As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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