I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
