I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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