Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
