is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
