Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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