What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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