If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
