the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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