Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
