I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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