My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
