so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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