Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize