it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize