I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
