Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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