bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and she was petting her beer can
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
