Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
