Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
