I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
as a side note pls kill me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
