i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
