i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
