haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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