I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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