his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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