at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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