There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No subtext here. People are naked.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
