i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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