and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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