only if we run a train.
done.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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