I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
